For the introverts who’ve always felt left out

I’ve always struggled to make friends.

I’d watch close-knit groups laughing together, completely at ease, and wonder how they did it. How they found their people so easily. I’d get jealous - not in a bitter way, but in that aching way where you just want to feel seen and wanted.

Even with the people I was friends with, I always hovered on the outside of the core circle.

Friendly, welcome… but never quite in.

I hated it.

I longed for someone to notice. To pull me in, even if I was kicking and screaming. But that moment never came. So I stayed where I was - watching, wondering, feeling left out and trying not to take it personally. Trying to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Because I knew I could be a damn good friend if someone gave me half a chance.

It’s a lonely kind of feeling. Being in a room full of people - friends, family even - and still feeling like you don’t quite belong. Like you’re not woven into the fabric the same way everyone else is.

Yesterday, I spoke to another introvert who described the exact same feeling. They put into words something I’ve struggled with my whole life, and for the first time… I realised it might not have just been me.

Not my awkwardness. Not my personality flaws. Not some fundamental failure on my part.

Just... the introvert experience.

INFJs. ISFPs. INTPs. Honestly, most of the I’s in the Myers-Briggs alphabet soup - we never quite feel like we fully fit.

Then I came across this line in my INFJ profile, and it floored me:

Perhaps because their personality type is so uncommon, INFJs tend to carry around a sense – whether conscious or not – of being different from most people. With their rich inner lives and their deep, abiding desire to find their life purpose, they don’t always fit in with those around them. This isn’t to say that INFJ personalities can’t enjoy social acceptance or close relationships – only that they sometimes feel misunderstood or at odds with the world.

That hit hard. It was like reading my own thoughts, finally given shape.

I spent so long trying to force myself to fit. Wondering why I couldn’t. Letting it chip away at my self-worth.

And yeah, I think that quiet, constant pressure has probably been a hidden thread in my anxiety and depression.

But somewhere along the way, I made peace with it.

No, I don’t fit in everywhere. And honestly? I don’t want to anymore.

Because I’ve found the people who see me - really see me - and love me as I am.

My big brother lifts me up with quiet, unwavering support and faith in me.

My wild sisters drag me out of my shell and remind me that life isn’t just for hiding.

My resilient niece inspires me with a strength far beyond her years.

My mom, with the biggest heart in the world, helps me navigate the emotional whirlwind that comes with being an empath.

My best friend just gets me - knowing exactly when I need a recharge day, and when I need a cocktail and buffet night.

My daughter brings sunshine into my life on the darkest days. Her joy is contagious.

My fiancé? He sees every part of me - meltdowns, tired snaps, sensory overloads - and still chooses me. Every single day. When I’ve spent a lifetime feeling like no one would.

And my Dad, though he’s no longer here, will always be part of my tribe. We were cut from the same cloth: steady, strong, and quietly determined. He lived his short life to the fullest, and I carry that same fire with me. I hope he’d be proud of the life I’m building.

This is my tribe.

Small. Mighty. And absolutely, unapologetically mine.

So if you’re still feeling like an outsider, still waiting to be invited into the inner circle, please know this:

You don’t need to change to fit into someone else’s circle.

You just need to find the ones who light up when you walk into the room.

The ones who make space for you without you even having to ask.

The ones who feel like home.

You are not unworthy of friendship. You never were. You are more than enough. Just as you are.

And you’ll find your tribe. I promise. ❤️