I have always been absolutely sh*t at dealing with feedback.

Whether it’s constructive, helpful, or otherwise, my brain couldn’t care less — it takes it personally, every single time. Like a direct shot to the heart.

I can’t help it.

I know logically it’s not personal. I really do.

But when you pour so much care, passion, and attention into everything you do, it’s hard to stay objective when your heart feels shattered into a million pieces on the floor.

Then stomped on for good measure.

I’ve always been a sensitive person.

I’m a highly empathetic introvert, which basically means I feel the world around me deeply. Intensely. Dramatically.

As a child, this mainly presented as tears. Lots and lots of tears. I cried over the slightest telling off, overhearing an argument, or even getting feedback at school.

Everyone thought I was just being dramatic. (Okay… maybe I was a little dramatic. But I couldn’t help it.)

Now that I’m an adult (supposedly), life has toughened me up. I’ve built resilience — thick-skinned, battle-tested, all that good stuff.

These days, my intense feelings don’t come out as tears anymore.

Instead, I build an instant emotional fortress — complete with archers, snipers, a crocodile moat, and a resting b*tch face.

You know. Just in case.

The truth is, feedback still genuinely hurts me.

My default reaction? Instant defensiveness and frustration. Not the most helpful.

The funny part is, give me 30 minutes, and I can usually look at the feedback objectively. I can see the point. I can even appreciate it. I just need to skip to that part faster.

I know this is one of my biggest weaknesses — and it’s something I’m actively trying to work on. It’s not exactly a great look to snap at your boss when he suggests a few tweaks to a newsletter. Or to bite your partner’s head off when he’s just trying to offer some advice. (Sorry.)

What’s helped a lot is learning that this isn’t just a fatal flaw — it’s actually a classic INFJ trait. We naturally take criticism to heart because we feel things that deeply.

These days, my gut reaction is still a flash of hurt when I hear feedback.

But I’m learning to:

Take a breath.

Remind myself it’s not a personal attack.

Abort all defensive missiles.

Separate the feedback from my self-worth.

Seriously, ABORT.

Once I give myself a moment to process rather than react, my responses are much more grounded — and honestly, my mental health is a lot better when I don’t treat every piece of feedback like shots fired.

Progress, not perfection. 💛

To my fellow introverts out there:

If you, too, find yourself building emotional fortresses at the first sign of feedback — you’re not alone. You’re not dramatic. You’re not weak.

You just feel things deeply — and that’s a superpower, not a flaw. (Although yes, it can be a bit exhausting sometimes.)

Give yourself grace. Take the breath. Lower the drawbridge (when you’re ready).

And remember: learning to accept feedback doesn’t mean you have to stop caring — it just means you’re giving yourself room to grow without needing a full medieval defence system every time.

We’ve got this. ✨