Timid, Direct, and Everything In Between

As an introvert, I spend a lot of time in my own head. Whether it’s replaying something I said five minutes ago or recharging from too much human interaction, it's kind of my thing. My brain runs a 24/7 internal monologue. No off switch.

I’m very (sometimes painfully) self-aware. I’ve been known to overanalyse how I might be perceived in any given moment. For years, anxiety had me pre-planning entire conversations like I was writing dialogue for a play. (Spoiler alert: it’s exhausting.) These days, I’m a bit more relaxed about it… but wondering how I come across to others? Still very much a regular pastime.

And yet, despite all this inner monologuing, it turns out there are still things I can learn about myself - or rather, how others perceive me.

The Plot Twist

Earlier this year, after nearly three decades on Earth and over a decade in the workplace, I got some surprising feedback.

Apparently… I come across as direct.

Blunt, even.

Cue the internal panic. Wait, what?

I’ve been called shy, quiet, reserved, timid, even mousy in the past. So how on earth do timid and blunt co-exist in the same person? My brain short-circuited trying to make that make sense.

Like telling a cat it barked too loudly.

Enter: my long-suffering partner.

“Can you tell me when I sound blunt?” I asked.

Reader, he agreed far too eagerly.

The Quiet–Succinct Confusion

Here’s the deal: I don’t like talking for the sake of it. I don’t talk to fill the silence. I don't like to waste words.

I like quiet. I like peace. I like people who understand that no reply is often just introvert-speak for being content.

So when I do speak - especially in the workplace - I try to get to the point. No waffle. No fluff. Just a nice, tidy sentence to get the message across. I like to say what I mean and mean what I say.

Apparently… that reads as direct.

And yeah, now that I think about it, I get it. It makes sense. I just wish someone had told me sooner.

I’ve always thought of it as being efficient and succinct. Kevin Malone from The Office would be proud: “Why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.” Honestly, my spirit animal.

So now I’m learning to soften my edges. Not change who I am, just add a little context, a touch more warmth - maybe even some fluff, here and there (baby steps).

Some People Love It, Though?

It’s not all bad news. I’ve had colleagues tell me they really value my directness, and my ability to speak my mind honestly when I do have something to say.

I’ve been told I’m like a breath of fresh air in a world full of small talk and endless meetings. I can cut through the noise and get to the heart of the matter quickly. It’s like I’m the human equivalent of a bullet point: clear, concise, and to the point.

It’s actually a bit of a superpower, once I stopped panicking about it.

But it’s also a double-edged sword. Some people find it off-putting, intimidating, or even rude. I’ve had colleagues tell me they thought I was being short or snappy when really, I was just trying to manage my social energy.

It comes down to knowing your audience. What feels like blunt honesty to one person might feel like refreshing clarity to another.

Here’s what I’ve Learned

You can’t control how people perceive you. Even if you’re self-aware to the point of exhaustion. People will hear and interpret things through their own lens.

You can’t change who you are to fit someone else’s expectations. But you can adapt your communication style to make it more effective, more relatable, and more human.

You can learn to read the room, to pick up on social cues, and to adjust your tone and delivery based on the situation. You can learn to soften your edges without losing your essence.

As for me? I can learn to be direct without being blunt, to be succinct without being cold, and to be honest without being harsh.

Communication isn’t just about what you say - it’s also about how someone receives it. Which means… sometimes, things get lost in translation.

Looking back, I wonder how many managers thought I was being short or snappy when really, I was just trying to do my job without adding a TED Talk on top. It’s something that could’ve been cleared up with one honest conversation.

My Two Cents?

Don’t let misunderstandings or miscommunication fester - especially not about something as simple (and complex) as communication style.

Ask. Check in. Say, “Hey, is the way I explain things working for you?” It might feel awkward in the moment (OK, definitely awkward), but it could save you a lot of confusion down the line, and maybe even help someone else feel more understood too.

And if you’re on the receiving end of someone’s communication style that doesn’t quite land, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. It’s not about changing who they are, but about finding a way to connect that works for both of you.

So if you’re an introvert who’s ever been called too blunt, too shy, too quiet - just know you’re not too anything. You just need to find the right balance between being true to yourself and being understood by others.

It’s a lesson in being misunderstood, sure, but it’s also a lesson in finding your strengths and learning to communicate them effectively.

It’s about embracing the fact that I can be both reserved and direct, quiet and impactful.

It’s about embracing your unique style and using it to your advantage, even if it means navigating a few awkward conversations along the way.

So here’s to all the introverts out there, navigating the complex world of workplace communication. Whether you’re timid, direct, or somewhere in between, remember that your voice matters. You don’t have to change who you are to be heard. You just have to find your own way of speaking up.

I hope this ramble gave you some food for thought - or at least the comfort of knowing you’re not the only one figuring it out one awkward interaction at a time.